Hearing my name called after the words "...and our new Mrs. California United States 2015 is..." was an unbelievable moment for me. It was bitter sweet. I had thoroughly enjoyed and savored each moment leading up to that crown. Each year I learned something new. Each year I met more AMAZING women. Each year I got to know the California sisters a little better. It wouldn't be the same ever again, but it would be incredible!
Hugs and pictures, hugs and pictures, and more hugs and pictures...and suddenly I was standing with my sisters in an elite sorority called Mrs. California United States for a photo I'll cherish forever. As of April 12, 2015 I was finally one of them.
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| Mrs. California United States and Mrs. United States. So honored to join the sorority! |
However, that final moment was hardly the entire picture as the entire weekend was full of incredible memories. After orientation, I sat down on the hotel bed for a moment to sort through the gifts we'd gotten from Janice, Crown Charisma, and various sponsors. In a stack of paperwork was an envelop with a little gold stare on it. I opened it and unfolded the paper only to feel very confused as to why a picture of me at the Mrs. California United States 2013 pageant was right there in the middle of the letter. I looked at the envelop again and back at the letter...it was addressed to the delegates of Mrs. California United States 2015. I began to read. By the time I made it to the signature, tears were sliding down my face faster than I could brush them away. I was overwhelmed. Julie Bannerton shared how much my life had impacted hers and had encouraged her. This is what pageantry was about to me.
Erick turned around to see what I was up to as I'd become so quiet. He looked startled and asked if I was okay. I couldn't speak so I simply handed him the letter. He read it and looked at me. He was quiet too. I nodded and gave a little smile. After looking at me for several moments, he spoke, "I think I finally get why you do this." I nodded again...I still didn't have words. He said, "You're making a difference." Another tear slid down my face. I couldn't say anything yet. I'd always hoped that I could impact people for good, but still felt amazed that God would do such amazing things with my life. I sat for a moment longer and prayed that he always would. It wasn't about me anyhow...it's about sharing compassion, grace, and love. I fail at it so often, but I'm so encouraged when I see that God has worked through me in spite of how human I am. This was one of those moments where I got a glimpse of him using me to impact them. Thank you, Julie, for encouraging and inspiring me in such a special way. I'll never forget your kindness.
As I prepared to go to the pajama party, I made a decision to be there in every way for the women around me. Life, to me, is so much about relationships and being in the moment. I wanted everyone around me to feel safe, cared for, and important, and, for some reason, pigtails seemed appropriate. It's not something queens generally do, but then most pajama parties don't have photographers either...lol! Chantea had the brilliant idea of sharing stories with each other. Laurie Solomon Long coaxed a story out of me...she has always been amazing! It was so beautiful and fun sharing our hearts, lives, and hilarity with each other. Of course, I can't share since what is said at a Mrs. California United States pajama party stays at a Mrs. California United States pajama party. ;)
Rehearsal was fun as I got to know each contestant a little better. Their encouragement and stories of inspiration were so amazing. I can still vividly see them in my mind and feel the love for each moment. Interview was incredible. I had more fun than I'd ever had in interview. The judges were amazing! I was sad to leave.
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| Headed to Interview and family pictures. |
One last rehearsal and the show would commence and we would soon know who the reigning queen would be. I decided last minute to switch shoes so that I could be a little more comfortable when I got a huge hug from the first pageant judge I'd ever been interviewed by in 2009, Sean McCurdy. I knew I'd come a long way when we talked about that first interview. He had always encouraged me to never give up. Wow...what a journey.
I got the phone call that my swimsuit was ready. My husband had bought all the tools and supplies to bling my swimsuit for me. For three days, while I rehearsed and competed, he painstakingly hot-glued Swarovski crystals to my swimsuit. My trust in him was so great that I didn't even open the box until it was time to put it on...and whoa! It was incredible. I smiled...I couldn't ask for a better man. He'd been there with me for this entire journey. Now, I couldn't let him down.
I looked out in the audience. Friends and family who had faithfully supported me year after year were waiting patiently as they talked together with great anticipation. How blessed was to have them there? There are no words. I couldn't let them down either. I was determined to give it everything I had and walk away without a single regret.
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As a group of us waited back stage for the signal we formed a circle to pray. Each woman around me helped me out all along the way. Whether it was some glue to keep the swimsuit in place or letting me know if I needed some tucking before hitting the stage...(Thank you, Laurie!) they helped me out. We all looked out for each other as sisters would. As I went out for on stage question, they gave me some encouragement. I felt so honored and humbled by their willingness to help me at every turn. Their hearts are so beautiful.
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| Photo by Jim "Woody" Woods ~ Mrs. California United States Class of 2015 |
Everyone had walked the stage and shared their heart. As we lined up for the finale, the awards for Mrs. Congeniality, the Civic Award, and Photogenic. The first two awards were called to great rounds of applause and then the shock...Mrs. Photogenic goes to... I was ready to begin my applause, but it was...me. I know shock must have registered on my face because I felt it. The woman who had half of her face reconstructed in emergency surgery was winning photogenic? I could hardly believe it, but then I did believe that beauty was more of internal thing...still photogenic? What an honor. I'm still reeling over this. I truly have no words.
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| Photo by Jim "Woody" Woods |
As each place got called and I had been given the title. I looked over at Erick and saw that he was glowing. We'd done it...finally. I tried so hard not to cry, but it was inevitable...after a six year journey it's just hard not to. As the weight of the sash settled on my shoulder and was draped to my side, I felt the great responsibility that had been bestowed on me. I have been given a gift beyond measure, a unique opportunity to touch lives, and the responsibility to lead with compassion, grace, and love. As the crown was set on my head, I sensed that my life had been changed forever. I had been given a great honor and with that honor has come great responsibility. I hope and pray every day that I will be worthy of that honor in every way and that every life I touch will be for the greatest good. To God be the glory.
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| My husband giving me the roses, kisses, and love he gives me...even when I didn't win. |
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| Top five...truly amazing court ~ authentic, kind, and gracious! |
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| The totally fun judges for Mrs.California United States 2015 |
